Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
You answer the door before people knock.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's coffee."
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
Cocaine is a downer.
All your kids are named "Joe."
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty- three more, I'll have a cup."
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
