Why do shops which are open 24/7 have locks on the doors?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it's zero degrees outside today, and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Why do banks charge you a "non sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Why is it that when a door is open, it's ajar-but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Do married people live longer than single people do, or does it just SEEM longer?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
